Waiting
by i-luv-emmet
Summary: Jacob is keeping a secret. A dark one. Edward is only giving him a certain amount of time to let Renesmee know or he is telling her himself. Can Jacob tell her himself or will time run out for him... in more than one way?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Renesmee's P.O.V**

Jacob continued to stare at the ceiling straight faced. I cuddled closer to him. He didn't even flinch. He sat like stone next to me on my bed.

"Jake," I said quietly, "whats wrong?"

He tensed. I could hear his heart beat rise. He turned his head and looked down at me. I stared at him with longing eyes.

"Nothing," he whispered flatly.

We continured to stare at each other in silence for a moment.

"Don't you dare lie to me," I whispered.

His eyes widened a little. He quickly turned his attention back to the ceiling. He bit his like then sighed.

"Jake, I love you. You can tell me anything. I'm 'sixteen', I think I can handle it," I reasured him.

He sighed again and looked at me questioningly. The look on his face was a little scary. But I couldn't tell what it was...

"Have you ever thought about death?" he asked.

The question caught me totally off guard. Death? Where did that come from?

"Um... I - I dont know," I studdered.

He laughed humorlessly. "Thats why I didn't want to ask. You look terrified."

"Have you ever thought about death Jacob?" I retorted.

There was no hesitation when he said, "Of course."

I gawked at him, trying not to break down. He frowned.

"You said not to lie," he pointed out.

I nodded. He was right.

"So by death do you mean like dying of natural causes or murder or suicide?" I asked.

"Um... suicide," he said too calmly.

"In my case then, I have never thought about death," I replied.

He nodded. "Good."

"Have you?"

"I already told you," he said.

Before I said anything else Jacob got up and walked to my window.

"You leaving?" I questioned.

"I probably should. Its late."

I got up and gave him a hug.

"I'm sorry if my question upset you Nessie. It was just a thought," he whispered.

"Its not the question. Its the answer that scares me," I said.

He held me tighter.

"I'm so sorry," he said.

I had the feeling he wasn't talking about the question or the answer but something completely different. A secret maybe. Right before I ran my hands up his arms he caught my wrists. He leaned down and kissed me passionately. When he let go he whispered,

"I'm sorry."

"I don't know what you're sorry about."

"Good."

And with that, he ducked out my window and into the night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Jacob's P.O.V**

I walked as quetly as I could across the lawn trying to remain unoticed. It didn't work.

"What are you doing Jacob?" a voice asked to my right.

I jumped. Edward was leaning against a tree, arms crossed.

"I'm going home," I replied.

"When are you going to tell Renesmee?" he asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I lied.

He walked forward.

"Don't lie to me Jacob Black. When are you going to tell her?" he demanded.

"She shouldn't have to know. I don't want her to know. She doesn't deserve to be burdened like that... like I am," I said.

"She already is! She knows something is wrong so you may as well just come right out and say it,"he said.

I took a step closer.

"No," I whispered.

"Do I have to?"

"NO!" I shouted.

I began to shake. I couldn't handle any of this. No one knew but Edward and he only knew because he was a mind reader. I took a deep breath.

"I'll tell her when I want to okay?" I said more calmly.

He nodded. I continued to walk back to my house.

* * *

I was so depressed and feeling worthless that I ended up stopping at Sam's for the night. It turned out everyone was at Sam's. I sat down in a chair and stared at the table.

"Hey Jake," Quil said sitting next to me.

I gave a nod of aknowledgement and continued to stare at the table. Quil stared at me.

"Are you okay man?" he asked.

"I've been better," I mumbled. "I'm just tired. I'm gonna go to bed."

I got up and lied on the couch facing the back of it. I lied there staring at it, in self loathing. How could I tell Nessie something like this? I hated myself enough already, hurting her would make it worse. So I may as well keep it a secret... and just hurt myself instead.

* * *

There was a slamming door when I woke up. I sat up ready to kill something. Sam was standing in front of me, the others strewn around the living room.

"Whats going on?" I asked.

"I know whats going on Jacob," Sam growled. "And it's going to stop."

"What is it to you Sam?" I asked.

He continued to glare at me. After a long silence, Seth spoke up and talked in a quiet voice.

"Your our brother Jake. We don't want you hurting yourself."  
I looked over at the little twirp. He looked so sad. No matter how annoying he could be he was like a little brother. And he looked up to me. But how could you look up to someone like me? Someone who hates themself so much that they...

"Who told you?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Edward," Sam said.

I growled. No matter what it took, that blood sucker would be dead by the end of the day.


End file.
